Your Family's 100 Year Plan: Behind a Behemoth
The Daughter's Dilemma
Michelle Seaton
12/01/2004

In the male-dominated world of commercial real estate, Tricia Simboli rarely meets women like herself who are in the process of inheriting a family business. The irony is that she often meets men who wish their daughters would join and continue the businesses they have created. “The other day I was talking to a broker who was very sadly saying that his daughter has no interest in joining his business,” says Simboli, who is a principal at ACS Development, a real estate development firm founded by her father in Chelsea, Mass.

Simboli spent 10 years working in finance at JP Morgan, finally as a vice president in the London office. Her father would mention coming to work for the family business casually, but never pushed. Finally, she took a leave of absence to learn more about the real estate business. “I literally landed in Boston on a Saturday and started working at my father’s office on the following Monday and never looked back,” she said. That was 12 years ago.

“Sons seem to fight their father for control or for making their mark. Daughters are much more patient with the process.”
Simboli credits her father’s attitude for part of her success in the company. “My dad has a bias toward strong women; he likes to hire them, he likes to work with them, he likes to be friends with them, and that works in my favor,” she says. Simboli works with both her father and her brother. Rather than choosing one heir, her father has adopted a partnership model, so that his son and daughter both can gradually assume ownership.

“Successors need to be sensitive to the founder. It’s not easy for them to make this transition,” Simboli says. “As the founder gets older, he or she may have manifestations of aging that are difficult to ignore. You need to be patient. Succession is a process,” she explains.

According to consultants who have worked with women heirs, daughters tend to have a much different style than sons when dealing with a company founder. “Sons seem to fight their father for control or for making their mark,” says Fredda Herz Brown, who runs a leadership group for daughters who are successors. “Daughters are much more patient with the process. Sometimes they are too patient. They tend to try and take care of their fathers while trying to unhook from them, which is nearly impossible, and they try to heal the family stuff while taking care of the business. Sons don’t do that; they just pound away for control.”

Simboli acknowledges the complications that arise from her decision to take control of the family business. Some men she meets are uncomfortable with her money and responsibility. Sometimes she wonders if even her father thinks she may soon get married and quit. Still, she argues that business ownership, no matter how you come to it, is a gift, not a birthright. “Don’t go out there and feel like you’re alone and it’s a burden and a challenge and so much responsibility,” she says. “Take the high road and think of it as a privilege for you and for the founder. There are so many people who are broken-hearted that their kids don’t want to work for them.”

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