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| Advisors' Forum |
From The Mouths of Babes
09/01/2005
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It’s never too late to develop a new attitude. Your son’s comment is like
the tip of an iceberg: You need to find out what’s under the water. Is it
rebellion because he wants to annoy you? Is it a developmental stage you can
help him outgrow? Do you sense it’s a real challenge concerning his basic
values?
As Malcolm Gladwell describes in Blink, our first impressions are
very powerful and can overwhelm our rational minds. We often fear or devalue
what we don’t know personally. First, connect with your son by acknowledging
that we all make snap judgments. Have some good conversations on the issue and
remind him that good leaders and citizens learn to transcend reflex reactions.
Second, find ways he wouldn’t mind that expose him in a day-to-day way with
“those people.” Try a different kind of camp or volunteer experience. Nothing
blasts devaluing quicker than friendship. Third, see if you can expand your
social circle as well.
Carol Kauffman, Harvard Medical School,
Belmont,
Mass.
It’s true: Privilege often isolates kids. But it’s not too late for your
son to gain a new perspective. Comments like his usually stem from an assumption
that rich people are rich because they are smarter and work harder than everyone
else. It is important to help him see that people from all classes work hard and
that many other factors—like race, access, connections and luck—are involved in
the creation of wealth.
Talk with him about how the deck of life is stacked
against people who didn’t grow up with the kind of privilege he has. When your
son understands that wealth is not a measure of a person’s worth, he’ll be on
the road to becoming the more compassionate and informed person you raised him
to be.
Resource Generation provides a community where he can talk with other
young people about issues such as this. You can visit our website at www.resourcegeneration.org for more
information.
John Harrison, Resource Generation,
Cambridge, Mass.
Send Us Your Questions. Are you wrestling with family issues, business
governance or succession decisions, investment or estate planning dilemmas,
problems related to philanthropic activities or foundations, or a similar
predicament? We invite you to email a detailed question to advisorsforum@worth.com.
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