Jack, a twice-divorced entrepreneur, describes divorce in martial terms: “You and your spouse each hire a gladiator, and it’s literally like being in the Coloseum in Rome, and your gladiator is trying to kill the other gladiator.”* To avoid such battles, Jack, who is remarried, drafted a prenuptial agreement with his new wife to ensure they clearly understood all financial obligations and roles before they recited their marriage vows. And in the process, he says they gained a deeper understanding of each other’s goals and values.

Some couples feel that the most difficult element of a prenuptial agreement is broaching the subject with their intended (the subject of last month’s article; see “From Deadlock to Wedlock,” March 2004), but the initial discussion is often only the first hurdle. Depending on the complexity of the agreement, two to four months may be required to draft the document, and the process can be just as trying as the relationship itself.

Jack, the wealthier of the two, regards the process as a trial run for the marriage. “If you have trouble communicating about prenups, you’ll probably have trouble all the way through the marriage,” he notes. “Prenups are a great early warning indicator for how you’ll deal with issues.” His views carry the benefit of experience: He did not have a prenup with his first wife, but did have one in his second marriage, as he does in his current one.

Brent, an entrepreneur who recently remarried, admits his experience negotiating the prenup was not always smooth sailing. Although he says he and his fiancée enjoyed a “total compatibility that made it easy to put our lives together,” they found the process of drafting the contract painful at times because of disagreements over details, such as the duration of the contract.

Both men believe their relationships are stronger now because they reached accord over the financial aspects of their marriages before they tied the knot. And both remain proponents of the prenup as a prerequisite to matrimony—no matter how complex the parley. “Personally, I wouldn’t leave home without it,” quips Jack.