Thayer Willis is an internationally recognized author and expert
in the area of wealth counseling. She has a master of arts degree from the
University of Oregon, a master’s degree in social work from Portland State
University, and is a licensed clinical social worker. Since 1990 she has
specialized in helping people of all ages handle the psychological challenges of
wealth. | THAYER WILLIS, pictured at age 21, admits she led a spoiled life
as a young adult. Now, with a teen of her own, she advises against excess. |
Born into the founding family of the multibillion-dollar
Georgia-Pacific company, Willis has an insider’s perspective on the privileges
and the difficulties that wealthy families have to deal with on a regular basis.
Each month in Worth, she will examine the special issues that
affluent families face, offering her insights into these
challenges.
Long before I became a
professional licensed clinical social worker helping my clients achieve freedom
beyond wealth, my own relationship with affluence delved into excess at times. I
cringe as I remember one drunken night in my mid-20s with a group of friends,
calling the head pilot of the Georgia-Pacific corporate jet fleet at his home at
2 a.m. and announcing that we wanted him to fly us to San Francisco—right then.
I can only imagine how thrilled he must have been to receive that call to fly a
wild, partying gaggle of twentysomethings, only one of whom he even knew.
What is excess? It is a sense of entitlement to life’s perks.
It is often, too, a lack of empathy for others. Excess often goes hand in hand
with wealth, and if left unaddressed, it can destroy relationships, undermine
trust and erode personal and professional potential.
William Blake tells us that the road of excess leads to the
palace of wisdom. Think about those travel directions. Tempting to hit the road,
isn’t it? We can buy the Italian sports car, the jet, the eight vacation
houses, the exquisite wine cellar, and we arrive at the palace of wisdom. How
does this work? Or does it work?
We all have desires. It is human nature to try to experience
what we want. We also manage our power in order to realize those experiences.
How our desires and power join forces within us determines our presentation to
the world. Our choices regarding these forces make us who we are.
One convenient choice is to ignore the consequences and decide
it doesn’t matter. We can pursue excess, because after all, we think, who will
know? We say to ourselves, "I can afford it" or "I’ve earned it." However, if
we take a bit more responsibility, we realize that there are all kinds of
consequences to our actions. First, there is our own journey and our own
experience of life. Many of us willingly strive to take the high road in life.
We know we have been given this golden opportunity to show our mettle. Second,
we are examples to others. The wealthy live in more of a spotlight than many
other people, simply because in our society financial wealth magnifies
everything that we say and do.
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